A simple guide to making new friends

because that sh*t is hard.

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Making new friends can be so difficult. Coming out of the pandemic, many of us are still struggling with regaining our lost social skills. Many of us are in a place where we’ve let go of a lot of friends and are STRUGGLING to make more. I’ve been on a journey of trying to make more friends myself, and here are all of the tips that have helped me along the way.

1. Be open to making friends anywhere & everywhere

It’s a common misconception that you need to go to a certain place to make friends. But really, you can go literally anywhere! I have met potential friends at engagement parties, in the forest, at the airport, at the park and drag shows. All it takes is a willingness to start a conversation without expectations.

It also helps to pay attention to connections you may have missed. It’s easy to think you need to meet someone completely new to make a friend. But often, you have a few connections around you that you’ve never really explored. For example, someone you met through school, work, or around the neighbourhood that you may be on an acquaintance-basis with, but you’d be interested to know more. These past connections are all great potential friends!

2. Freely give out compliments OR wear something easy to compliment

Wear something people can compliment or compliment someone else. Compliments are a great entry point to a further conversation and a potential friend. Great options are putting together a cute outfit or wearing a bold-liner look. Give out compliments without any expectations or goals, except to make people smile.

While I was at this park I complimented a dude’s bike who was chilling looking at the view. My partner and I chatted with him for a while before heading home. I wasn’t feeling the friendship vibes, but we still had a great, memorable chat.

3. Ask questions to continue the conversation

After you’ve entered a conversation via a compliment, you now have an opportunity to get to know someone. People really appreciate when someone shows an interest in them and generally respond extremely positively, even if the conversation stops there. At this point, I like to challenge myself to ask at least two follow-up questions to go a bit further. Questions about the setting are great; for example:

• Have you been here before?

• Do you usually go to events like this?

• What brings you here?

4. Ask them out

I often joke that making friends is like dating. After you’ve had a solid conversation with someone, it’s time to decide if you’d like to go on a first-friend date. I like to go with a simple: ‘let me get your Instagram/phone number.’ And then boom! That’s it, you just made a potential friend!