I have a lot of social anxiety. I’ve always lived a life of hypervigilance, judging myself before others even had the chance. I’m not sure if this anxiety will ever fully go away. But what helps me take action despite the fear is all of the rewarding conversations I get to have when I step out of my comfort zone.
Conversations with strangers you’ll never see again can be incredibly rewarding. The people you run into while travelling are so diverse, all going through different things with different life perspectives. Close friends are great confidants, but sometimes a stranger can be just as good if not better. After all, you’ll likely never see them again so you can tell them your problems. They have different insights that your friends can’t offer you. They may have had a similar experience and can offer advice. And you often get to speak to people that you normally wouldn’t. Here are a few airport conversations that I think about at least once a month.
I was flying to Greece and was sitting next to an older gentleman whom I learned whose wife had recently passed away. They were supposed to go to Greece together because the trip was planned before she died. He decided to go anyway even though he was grieving. He told me about how he was recently at his cabin and a hummingbird came up to the window. His wife has loved hummingbirds. He had never seen one there in the seven years he owned the cabin. He felt it was a sign that she was watching over him. It made me think about the symbolism of hummingbirds. They mean a lot to people and some say can be a sign of a deceased loved one watching over you.
In some South American cultures, the hummingbird is considered a symbol of resurrection and immortality. It is believed that the spirits of deceased loved ones may return in the form of a hummingbird to bring comfort and guidance to the living (quote via aboutmybrain.com).
I was seated next to an older couple on a flight to British Columbia. They told me they had been married for 65 years and met overseas when the husband had gone to China to teach English. The man said he never really had a plan in life, he just followed where things took him. It made me think about how different life is when we allow opportunities to guide us rather than chasing what we think the ideal life path is for us. They told me they had many children and looked to have a beautiful yet difficult life. She jokingly told me that marriage only gets good when you retire. She asked for my phone number and we exchanged contact information. One day I might visit them on Vancouver Island.
A kind man behind me complimented my backpack in a Subway line at my gate at the airport. We laughed about corporate culture and talked about spending time with our partners. We made sarcastic jokes. We laughed like old friends. The conversation energized and fulfilled me. Then we went on separate flights with no way of contacting each other.
While just a few hours or moments in time with people I will likely never see again, these conversations have stuck in my memories vividly. Sometimes the wisdom imparted by a kind stranger at the airport can be more powerful than hearing the same advice over and over from a friend.
Tips for socially anxious travellers who want to have more airport conversations:
Wear something people can compliment or compliment someone else. My backpack above has started multiple conversations.
Ask someone where they are from or where they’re going. You’re at an airport after all.
Lines are good places to talk. Strike up a conversation with the person in front of you.
Know you can end the conversation anytime you want and walk away. There are a million reasons to excuse yourself at the airport.
Listen to the feeling that pulls you toward certain people to have a conversation with. Listen to that feeling and trust it’s there for a reason.
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